A guide for teachers navigating misogyny and aggression in schools
Since Voicebox began five years ago, we've witnessed schools experiencing a rapid increase in misogynistic behaviours and attitudes among boys, ranging from harmful comments and gender-based bullying to aggression and a "pack mentality", and even sexual harassment.
Influencers like Andrew Tate, who promote hyper-masculine ideals and the devaluation of women, have gained traction among young men in schools, amplifying these problems. As teachers, the challenge is often knowing how to respond. Boys may glorify aggression, use sexist language, or dismiss empathy and respect as weaknesses - all behaviours that contribute to an unhealthy and uncomfortable environment for female students, male peers, and staff: the entire school community.
The solution lies in promoting healthy masculinity, to equip boys with emotional intelligence, respect for others, and non-violent ways of expressing themselves.
This blog post will define healthy masculinity, explore the roots of toxic masculinity, and offer strategies to help teachers address these issues. We’ll also discuss why terms like "toxic masculinity" can make boys defensive and how reframing the conversation around healthy and unhealthy masculinity can be more effective.
We'll also introduce our Healthy Masculinity Workshop and Introduction to Masculinity Assembly as practical resources for schools.
What is healthy masculinity?
Healthy masculinity refers to expressions of masculinity that are respectful, empathetic, and emotionally intelligent. It contrasts with "toxic masculinity", which refers to a set of harmful behaviours and attitudes that are often associated with traditional norms of masculinity, such as aggression, dominance, lack of respect for women or a “player” mentality, and emotional repression (more on this further down).
Key aspects of healthy masculinity include:
Emotional intelligence – The ability to understand and express emotions in healthy ways is crucial. Research shows that boys and men who are taught to embrace their emotions rather than suppress them are less likely to engage in aggressive or violent behaviours. This skill is also massively beneficial to mental health.
Respect for others – Healthy masculinity involves valuing all people, regardless of gender (i.e. seeing girls and women as equal human beings), and challenging harmful stereotypes or behaviours that devalue others. This includes teaching boys about the importance of consent equality and the language they use.
Accountability – Boys should be encouraged to take responsibility for their actions and understand how their behaviour impacts others. Promoting accountability helps prevent a culture of excuses, victim-blaming and a normalisation of harmful behaviours and attitudes, which can be common in environments steeped in "toxic masculinity".
Strength without aggression – True strength lies in resilience, courage, and integrity, not in physical dominance or intimidation. Studies show that boys who develop a broader understanding of strength are more likely to excel in cooperative environments and less likely to engage in risky behaviours.
Collaboration and community – Healthy masculinity encourages teamwork and mutual respect, rather than fostering the competitive or exclusionary behaviours often seen in "pack mentalities." Boys can learn that their worth is not tied to outperforming or belittling others.
What is "toxic masculinity" and why does it matter?
Toxic masculinity refers to harmful behaviours and attitudes commonly associated with traditional male gender roles, including emotional suppression, the devaluation of women, and the glorification of violence or dominance. The term was popularised in the 1980s and 1990s by sociologists to describe how societal expectations can push men toward harmful behaviours that negatively affect both themselves and those around them.
While masculinity itself is not toxic, toxic masculinity can have serious negative consequences for all genders.
Toxic masculinity can manifest in many ways:
Aggression and violence: Professor James Mahalik of Boston College found that boys who adhere to traditional masculine norms are more likely to engage in physical violence. In fact, boys who embrace hyper-masculine ideals are almost twice as likely to perpetrate violence against others.
Misogyny and gender-based bullying: Toxic masculinity can lead boys to adopt sexist attitudes, believing that their worth is tied to demeaning women, as they need to be seen as tough and dominating. A survey by Plan International UK found that 58% of girls aged 14-21 in the UK have been publicly sexually harassed in their learning environment.
Suppression of emotions: Boys taught to hide their emotions are more prone to mental health issues like depression and anxiety, and they may also turn to aggression or substance abuse to cope (Wong et al., 2017).
Sexual and domestic violence: Studies have found that boys and men who adhere to specific aspects of toxic masculinity, are more likely to use or permit violence towards women and girls. These aspects often include:
Men should be the sole decision maker
Women should obey their husbands
Men should have sex with women to demonstrate masculinity
Men should suppress their emotions
Men should use violence and aggression
Despite the importance of addressing toxic masculinity, the term itself often triggers defensiveness in boys. Many feel that when teachers, adults or peers talk about "toxic masculinity," they are attacking all aspects of masculinity or labelling all men and boys as inherently bad. If boys have experienced conversations about gender equality and masculinity in this way, it can create a sense of shame and anger for them. This defensiveness can lead to further resistance to change and shuts down productive conversation.
Why boys become defensive about the term "toxic masculinity"
Boys often bristle at the term "toxic masculinity" because it can feel accusatory or imply that all masculine traits are harmful. It’s important to remember that many boys have internalised societal messages about what it means to be a "man," and being told that parts of their identity are "toxic" can be confusing or hurtful. Psychologist Michael Kimmel notes that when boys hear this phrase, they may feel personally attacked or assume they are being labelled as bad simply for being male.
This is why it is often more effective to frame discussions around healthy and unhealthy masculinity rather than relying on the "toxic masculinity" label. This has always been our practice at Voicebox as we've found we're much more likely to engage the boys and young men we work with in meaningful, productive conversations when we use these terms.
By emphasising that masculinity itself is not the problem, but certain behaviours and attitudes can be harmful, we create a more open, non-defensive environment for boys to reflect on their actions. Boys are more likely to engage when they feel the conversation is about helping them become the best version of themselves, rather than blaming them for societal problems. Using “unhealthy” and “healthy” also demonstrates that there is change possible: masculinity is often a journey, and men and boys can move from unhealthy ideas of manhood to healthy ideas. This helps engage boys, rather than the final and immobile sounding “toxic masculinity”.
Strategies for promoting healthy masculinity in schools
How can teachers and school staff create an environment that fosters healthy masculinity and reduces the harmful behaviours associated with toxic masculinity?
1. Facilitate open conversations about masculinity
Boys need a space to talk about what it means to be a man and to critically examine the messages they receive from media, peers, and influencers like Andrew Tate. These discussions can help boys recognise how societal pressures shape their behaviour and allow them to explore healthier alternatives.
Our Introduction to Masculinity assembly can help kickstart these conversations. It provides a framework for students to reflect on how gender norms influence their identity and offers strategies for developing a healthier sense of masculinity.
2. Model positive masculinity
Teachers, especially male staff, play an essential role in modelling what healthy masculinity looks like. Demonstrating empathy, emotional openness, and respectful behaviour can show boys that being a man doesn’t require being aggressive or dismissive of others. (Our Healthy Masculinity in the Workplace workshop, which launches in November 2024, is designed to help adult men embody healthy masculinity at work).
Positive role models in the media who promote healthy masculinity, like Stormzy, Jordan Stephens and Marcus Rashford, can also be highlighted and discussed, encouraging students to embody their healthy masculine traits.
3. Create safe spaces for vulnerability
Pack mentalities can make it difficult for boys to show vulnerability, as they might fear judgement from their friends. Creating safe spaces, such as discussion groups or mentorship programmes, where boys can express themselves without fear of ridicule, can help them develop stronger emotional awareness and empathy.
4. Challenge misogynistic and toxic behaviour
When boys engage in harmful behaviours or express misogynistic views, it’s important to address these incidents promptly and constructively. Teachers should feel empowered to challenge unhealthy behaviours while encouraging boys to reflect on why their actions are harmful.
5. Teach respectful relationships
Schools can also combat toxic masculinity by teaching boys about consent, boundaries, and respect in relationships. Lessons on respectful relationships - whether romantic, platonic, or professional - can help boys understand the value of equality and mutual respect. This kind of education should be integrated into broader sex and relationship education programmes. (Read on for how our workshops can offer exactly this!).
Why Voicebox’s offerings can help
Our workshops and assemblies are designed to offer practical, engaging interventions to help boys understand the difference between healthy and unhealthy masculinity. Our Healthy Masculinity workshop and Introduction to Masculinity assembly both provide structured spaces where boys can reflect on the societal expectations they face and learn strategies for fostering healthier behaviours and embodying healthy masculinity.
Our Healthy Masculinity workshop: This workshop allows boys to critically examine societal norms and pressures around masculinity. It also encourages boys to develop emotional intelligence and stronger communication skills and equips them to challenge harmful attitudes and behaviours in themselves, helping them form better relationships with peers and teachers.
Our Introduction to Masculinity assembly: This assembly provides an overview of how gender norms shape identity and behaviour, offering students the tools to question harmful stereotypes and engage in more respectful, inclusive ways.
Both offerings are designed to meet boys where they are and empower them to embody healthy masculinity and make positive choices that benefit both themselves and the wider school community.
Got more questions about what one of our workshops looks like? Find out what happens in a Voicebox workshop.
Addressing toxic masculinity in schools is critical to creating safe, respectful environments where all students can thrive. By understanding, promoting and embodying healthy masculinity, we can help boys develop a balanced sense of self that values emotional intelligence, respect, and collaboration over dominance and aggression, and helps them invest in their own wellbeing, and benefit’s the wellbeing of the school community as a whole.
References:
Wong et al. (2017) Study on Emotional Suppression and Mental Health
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